Humor

Hoax dictionary entries about legendary obscene beasts

JDM090209alpaca.jpg

Meet the Grass Mud Horse (草泥马), a rare animal that has become phenomenally popular in the past month.

The animal, whose name sounds like a common curse (操你妈), is the most famous of the Ten Legendary Beasts of Baidu, non-existent animals that were inserted into Baidu's user-editable encyclopedia. Although the majority are juvenile puns for curse words or genitalia, the collective editing process did manage to come up with a few clever descriptions.

Here are the rest:

  • The Dafei Chicken (达菲鸡): A strange bird that likes exercise. (打飞机, slang for "masturbate")
  • The Chrysanthemum Silkworm (菊花蚕): A silkwork that feeds on chrysanthemum flowers instead of mulberry leaves. (菊花残, an insult that means something like "bugger")
  • The Midge Butterfly (雅蠛蝶): An exceedingly rare creature only found on the Tibetan plateau. (From やめて, Japanese for "stop it"; via imported porn)
  • The Weishen Whale (尾申鲸): During his maritime adventures, Zheng He discovered this creature was hunted as the raw materials for women's underpants. (卫生巾, "sanitary napkin")
  • The Jiba Cat (吉跋猫): A creature that lives in a dark, damp environment and competes for food with the White Tiger. According to historical records, the Jiba Cat flourished during the reign of the Zhengde Emperor. (鸡巴毛, slang for "pubic hair")
  • The Qianlie Crab (潜烈蟹): A legendary crab that once stopped up the Grand Canal. (From 前列腺, "prostate")
  • The Crying Paddy Goose (吟稻雁): In the Kangxi era, a large goose dove into a certain field, damaging it and causing the local farmers to come down with a strange sickness. (From 阴道炎, "vaginitis")
  • The Franco-Croatian Squid (法克鱿, scientific name "Vai-te Foder"): A fierce species of squid originally inhabiting Europe and the Americas. (From the English-language curse "Fuck you")
  • The Puremen (鹑鸽): A rare bird found only in Sichuan and Hunan; formerly found in the area that is now the Republic of Yemen. (From 春哥, a nickname used for Super Girl winner Li Yuchun among fans who claim, whether sincerely or ironically, that she's a man. Their catchphrase is 春哥纯爷们, "Brother Chun is all man", which is where Yemen comes in)

And finally, in a nod to the editors of the encyclopedia, there's the Stork-Cat Ape (鹳狸猿) that inhabits Baidu County in Lanzhou. This entry pokes fun at Baidu administrators (管理员) who continually spar with the online pranksters and who ultimately deleted all of these entries.

Although the Ten Legendary Beasts have been wiped from Baidu, the Grass Mud Horse lives on in Photoshopped images (the cute cousin to the Alpaca turned up at the CCTV fire) and videos.

Here's the "Song of the Grass Mud Horse," a spot-on parody of a contemporary children's songs:

For lyrics and analysis, see China Digital Times.

Another clever parody uses the familiar format of Animal World (动物世界), a popular CCTV program, to introduce the Grass Dirt Horse and its habitat.

But fun with Baidupedia is not entirely about dirty words. For a different level of satire, check out the now-deleted entry for revolutionary hero Wei Guangzheng (伟光正, taken from 伟大, 光荣, 正确, "great, glorious, correct"):

Wei Guangzheng

Comrade Wei Guangzheng is a superior product of natural selection. In the course of competition for survival, because of certain unmatched qualities of his genetic makeup, he has a great ability to survive and reproduce, and hence Wei Guangzheng represents the most advanced state of species evolution.

Here is the evolution of Wei Guangzheng's thinking: Since the day of his birth, comrade Wei Guangzheng established a guiding ideology for the people's benefit, and in the course of connecting it with the real circumstances of his beloved Sun Kingdom, a process of repeated comparisons that involved the twists and turns of campaigns of encirclement and suppression, his ideology finally realized a historic leap forward and generated two major theoretic achievements. The first great theoretic leap was the idea of leading a handful of people to take up arms to cause trouble, rebellion, and revolution in order to build a brave new world, and to successfully seize power. This was the "spear ideology." The second great theoretic leap was a theory, with Sun Kingdom characteristics, in which Wei Guangzheng was unswervingly upheld as leader and the people were forever prevented from standing up. This was the "shield theory." Under the guidance of these two great theoretic achievements, comrade Wei Guangzheng won victory after victory. Practice has proven, "Without Wei Guangzheng, there would be no Sun Kingdom." Following the road of comrade Wei Guangzheng was the choice of the people of the Sun Kingdom and an inevitable trend of historical development.

Comrade Wei Guangzheng endured a bitter struggle for survival. In his struggles with natural conditions, he climbed mountains and trudged through plains, expressing with an iron will a legendary story of pathos that continues to impress his posterity. In struggles with heterogeneous individuals, he engaged in a long-term fight with the reactionary government of the time and was ultimately triumphant. In his struggles with individuals in his own group, he cast out the cow devils and snake spirits that organized internal reactionary activity, and dealt them harsh punishment. This is the reason why comrade Wei Guangzheng could continue to survive: he fit perfectly with the three main factors of natural selection.

In the harmonious environment that comrade Wei Guangzheng himself constructed, mates were plentiful and there were no natural enemies, so Wei Guangzhengs could multiply quickly. Their numbers swiftly increased. Today, Wei Guangzhengs inherit the advantages of their Wei Guangzheng ancestors, and also attempt various innovations. For example, many Wei Guangzhengs use their unmatched power to amass money, setting records that are continually broken. Of course, evolutionary principles mean that there is also mutation, as when, following his leadership of a handful of people to take up arms to cause trouble, rebellion, and revolution and to seize power, Wei Guangzheng began to detest "a handful of people"....

The reason for this mutation may be due to errors in genetic transmission during the period of the second leap of Wei Guangzheng Thought. It is said that mutation frequently causes cells to function improperly or even die, or could lead to cancer. Yet at the same time, mutation is a motivating factor for the evolution of species: sudden changes that are less than ideal will be naturally discarded, while beneficial changes will accumulate. In this way, we see that mutations directly affect the evolutionary direction of Wei Guangzheng.

Update: Our friends from the World of Warcraft boards on Baidu's BBS have stopped by for a visit (草泥马被国外知名媒体报道 WOW吧名扬海外了).

Update (2009.03.13): Language Log has posted on the phenomenon, and one comment presents an interesting account of the genesis of these creatures:

The history of GMH, or the Grass Mud Horse, is longer than most people had realized. It is even difficult to identify where it had particularly originated from. One thing is certain, though, that GMH did have a close relationship with the Spartan culture (a sort of Chinese online subculture), which based on a series of smart photoshopped parody comic owning genesis to the Hollywood blockbuster The 300 Spartans, 2005. The actor Vincent Regan as Captain in the movie made out an exaggeratingly roaring sound with the exact likeness of lip movements as a Chinese curse word "WoCao" carrying the meaning close to "fuck". The funny thing is "WoCao" can also be written as 卧槽, a technical term in Chinese chess game. Some Internet users discovered this and soon mass volumes of gif animations subtitled 卧槽 capturing the scene from the movie, began to prevail in major Chinese bbs's (i.e. Baidu, mop).

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There are currently 136 Comments for Hoax dictionary entries about legendary obscene beasts.

Comments on Hoax dictionary entries about legendary obscene beasts

Actually, these were all very real creatures bred in China over 5,000 years ago but since eaten into extinction by various tribes of Chinese over the years, most recently being those of the Cantonese persuasion...

I love puns in any language, and these are pretty dirty but not altogether without merit.

Forgive me for my impertinence, but you provide two translations for the expression 打飞机. Would you please clarify?

Thanks William. I neglected to swap out the expression.

I think only the grass mud horse will be popular for a longer time. It is ugly but cute.

(From やめて, Japanese for "stop it"; via imported porn)

This is someone's entire sociology dissertation, between two parentheses.

哈哈 围观

出名了 我靠~!

卧槽.... 我们神兽出国了.....

haha, how funny

中国的wow百度贴吧 永远是世界贴吧的神 让世界了解百度 让世界知道百度贴吧wow吧

跑跑卡丁车吧 前来围观

强力围观 中国

围观,为了我们的神兽。
这是我们国家的东西,并不是1楼所说的你们国家的!
如果你在开玩笑,我会放弃我生气的权利。


WOW吧 IP0神0

春哥纯爷们

围观

围观,为了我们的神兽。
这是我们国家的东西,并不是1楼所说的你们国家的!
如果你在开玩笑,我会放弃我生气的权利。


WOW吧 IP0神0

火箭吧前来围观

Hello everyone, my friends are from China

前来围观

强力围观

强势围观

前来围观

= =my god..

GOOD

真是搞笑啊
神兽连这里都上了啊
惊讶中……

WOW吧前来围观

interesting,we chinese are good at eg.

春哥纯爷们,铁血真汉子。

It is undeniable that China is a very powerful , the , though I am a Chinese

wo men lai wei guan

passin'

春哥纯爷们

wow吧众神前来围观

哈哈...太好玩了

哈哈,十大神兽

Lol That's funny`

卧槽泥马拉戈壁

狠H很BL

卧槽泥马拉戈壁

。。。。外国友人对这个也有兴趣?

我是CHINA,围观

哈哈,流传出外国了

草泥马楼上的

welcome to http://tieba.baidu.com/f?kw=WOW

窝窝吧强势围观

OH MY GOD!!!
FUCK YOU
春哥纯爷们!铁血真汉子!
人民好兄弟!父亲好儿子!
拳上能站人!臂上能走马!
夜御十女枪不倒,菊花百战色仍红!
春哥纯爷们,纯爷们中的战斗爷们!
红领巾前来围观·强力插入前十!

我是一名伟光正的WOWER 我来围观所谓评论者 包裹我自己~哈哈

you are 山寨,understand?

守望是受 我十分肯定

很牛X啊````

这..... 你们也想学么?

悲剧啊

哈哈。。。这下HIGH了。。

围观··
···中国草泥马 武器了·

That's just a fun

卧了个槽- -.
这个网站不是山寨吧。

守望是受 我十分肯定

WOW吧强力插入围观

无了敌了....

fuck
春哥纯爷们~

人中吕布,马中赤兔!
人中春哥,马中草泥!

I'm also a chinese. I'm so regret that the netizens of our country are not very civilized.
我们的国民素质有待提高啊...

卧槽,WOW吧观光团到此一游。。。。神兽出国了。。

what are you doing,don‘t you know Brother Chun is all man

窝窝吧强势近距离惨无人道围观

Oh my god ~~~My country so clearly~~~~~

WELCOME TO BAIDU WOW TIEBA

That's all kidding above----but not just kidding. Instead, it reflects some phenomena inside the Chinese Online cultrue sphere.

I'm a authentic Chinese human being by the way; also I'm one member of the wowers in CHINA.

Oh my god ~~~My country so NB

as the detector of Chun-Ge(pure-man),i'm moved by the fact that the guys allover the world recognize this kind of legendary bird which is powerfull,strong,even irritable.
although the Chun-Ge is the one of ten legendary beasts,i'm always worried about it will be wiped out by the River-Crab(he xie)
i hope the god will bless the Chun-GE who is the king of the pure man, and i trust the the River-Crab will disappear with the shit in future.

Chun-GE chun Yemen!!!!!
Paolof Kengski

海贼王吧发来贺电!

They became famous,I can't imagine that.

hah,nowadays almost every chinese netizen knows the meaning of the foreigners'comments ,but few of the foreigners knows chinese comments,say nothing of the traditional chinese or the classical chinese language,just as 诚彼娘之非悦

my god,这也能行????晕。。。。。。。
this all kiding ,I think that's just the way the yong people use to laugh at the company baidu

Well,“达菲鸡" and "打飞机" are pronounced the same but have different meanings in Chinese. Just like ring and wring or scent and sent in English.

汗一个 估计这东西外国人很难理解

Don't be serious.

All above are jokes.

卧槽。。。我国出名了。。。让外国人都来咱WOW吧见识见识吧、、、、,i am chinese ,all of this are come form baidu WOWbar,welcome to baidu WOWbar!!

I feel very surprised to these terms outflows. Believe that Chinese is also the same other , express make of to their fanaticism please. Thank you.

I feel very surprised to these terms outflows. Believe that Chinese is also the same other , express make of to their fanaticism please. Thank you.

this alpaca is so cute and funny! lmao

老外,this is 草泥马! is very 丝状,俺的私蛋?

Wow, what the frick is this shiet, lol!
Unbelievable.

wow looks like danwei is invade by a horde of Baidu otaku. for this I'll add my contribution:

八月中秋山林涼,風吹大地草枝擺。
甘霖老母趕羚羊,來年羊毛超級賣。
草枝擺啊趕羚羊,趕羚羊啊草枝擺。
庭院织笆為君開,都蘭山曉金桔擺。
天摇地動舟渡嵐,嗚呼甘霖老迹埋。
金桔擺啊老迹埋,老迹埋啊金桔擺。

If anyone out there wants to get rich i suggest making a range of 草泥马 branded pens called 草泥马个笔.

I don't have time to do it myself.

草泥马,太他妈有才了!

MOP前来观光

豆瓣观光

网站是山寨的。。。

而且。。域名。。danwei。

LOGO图标是汉语的。。。红底银灰色的字体。。单位。。

www.danwei.org
。。。。。。。。
名字很山寨,谢谢!

太丢人了.很光荣么?无知.无语.尤其是你anonymous.最无知的人是你

society of China is so harmonic!

this is a joke right?

请外国的朋友结合Govern ment'网络低俗整治行动来看待grass mud horse。你会得到一个很好玩的结论。You will get a funny conclusion。

ps:Google 翻译真烂!

Niu,just one word, I'd say once only.

in my opinoin

its chinese freedom

oh ,it's sucks. someone created the kinds of animals just to express the feeling of angry to company BAIDU. JUST FOR FUN


WELCOME TO WOWBAR BAIDU
WE R THE red scarfS!!!!

还不是因为中国对于舆论的封锁。

在中国没有言论自由,你看08年搞出多少事。

就看09年怎么样了,如果网络被中国政府给制住了,以后中国网络也就完蛋了,如果没治住,那时候中国才真正的走入资本主义社会初期。

什么社会主义,只是忽悠人罢了。我们中国现在是半封建半资本主义社会。

人权?别开玩笑了,你见过封建社会有人权?谁的权利大谁就有人权。谁的权利大谁就有钱。

我英文不好,中文你们勉强看。

哈哈,这个山寨网站也就忽悠一下白痴

还真有人上当

可笑啊可笑

Well,well,We are just joking...
I hope next time we can find another NORMAL funny thing. In fact I've got little interested in these words.

you probably need to explain the gobi desert connotation as well:) allegedly it is the habit of that cute 'horse'.

haha~~ chinese netizen is great! grass mud horse, river crab..... ,the descriptions in english is completely correct!

There are lots of puns in the entries that I didn't attempt to deal with. Looking back at the China Digital Times article that did the lyrics translation, I'm surprised they don't mention the Gobi connection. Thanks for mentioning that, sun bin.

two weeks ago I asked my father a question "if the CCP will been overthrowed by the people in the future will you protect the party ?" my father told me he will do nothing if this thing happen. my father is a old partizan of CCP.

自从BLOG出现后,似乎是个人就可以写点东西,我们不仅仅是一味的接受别人发布的信息,而且还可以写自己的新闻。虽然我见过很多不错的BLOG,但是我最想见的还是DANWEI(http://www.danwei.org/)的Blogger。因为他很特别,一个外国人,长年在中国生活,用全英文的界面报道与中国相关的各类新闻,甚至还自己编辑摄录相关新闻短片。名字叫“DANWEI”,中文“单位”,听说取这个名字是因为他源于国内对工作地方的习惯性称呼,非常具有中国特色。现在他的访问量直线上升,甚至很多国外的著名媒体记者都每天阅读他的Blog,从中找到有关中国的第一手资料。的确,从某种层面上看,我们应该感谢他,因为现在国外的大部分人,特别是西方世界对中国的印象还停留在满大街自行车的时代,认为中国没有高楼大厦,没有手机,更没有自动取款机,认为中国人的穿着都象《秋菊打官司》里的巩利,象《我的父亲母亲》里的章子怡。我个人认为,这有可能就是为什么这类中国电影才能在国际影展上获奖,而国内拍的较为时尚且很受欢迎的片子在国外却屡受冷落。有人说,这是因为东西方文化的差异所造成的,是啊,一个吕燕在国内估计连在小吃店洗碗都得掂量一下,在欧洲却成了大名鼎鼎的超级名模。要我说,我们可以借此机会,把国内所有类似的“潜力股”都出口到国外,反正很多人也想出国,还可以赚点外汇。呵呵,什么时候真见到DANWEI的版主,我真想向他好好介绍介绍中国,就从熟悉的武汉开始,因为中国太大了,只是北京上海深圳不能代表中国的全部。等着吧~~~

此网站不是山寨啊!

[Adding source link: link --JM]

申请世界文化遗产保护!!

大多數外國人對現代大陸人民生活﹐政治﹐經濟及文化的理解並不像樓上所幻想那麼愚昧無知﹐因為大陸從八十年代初經濟積極地發展和對外開放就招致外國矚目﹐豈有可能大陸最喜歡提倡做為比例的西歐北美國家反而不知﹐在西洋媒體中有關大陸的新聞﹐報道﹐分析無處不在﹐已成為耳熟目染。

有一些大陸電影如“霸王別姬”因為表演感動﹐藝術水平超高以及故事內容大受國外的歡迎﹐甚至在國際影展上獲獎,並不因為異國觀眾把“臥虎藏龍”做真﹐“我的父母親”是一部好電影﹐章子怡表演小女孩純真初戀﹐反映我們人類心裡追憶青春的純朴感情﹐並不意味著外國人偏看中國電影尋找大陸鄉下落伍的方面。

樓上推薦自己向外國人介紹介紹中國﹐我個人建議他事先用頭腦認清事實。

诸位 都省点力气 别来这里丢人 不管网站是不是山寨 咱们这性状就跟在外人前面脱裤子 自己娱乐下即可 出来晒什么阿!
Everyone,save it!don't all of u feel shameful?whether the site is fake,all we are doing is showing our uglysides and unpleasant faces to other!we should just enjoy ourselves but not curse ourselves!fuck u debbies!

My english very poor
say sorry
very nice 草泥马

打飞机 the explanation masturbate here is not quite clear, only for men, haha, women have no bullets, how can they manage that.

我是河蟹,我们好不容易找到新的食物卧草,能生存下去。为什么草泥马要把我们赶尽杀绝?

这篇文章到是没什么,可是这些回复就很糟糕了,真丢人。

It's fine about this text.

But ,it's terrible to see these feed backs which are with "F" word.

It's really shame of you who has post it.

Sorry about my english.

@LoveChinaLongTime,

If you should learn some chinese, and a little about its culture, i think you will be better understanding this article now.


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草泥马来袭

围观中……勿扰

其实我经常潜水,但都到这了,好歹出个面

谁是这些策划

太搞了,神兽出国了,哈哈,哈哈哈!!!哈哈!!Mopper前来拜访~

This is really funny, I do not know why Chinese guys regarded as a shame or sth...
It is just kidding, right?
So Cute 草泥马!

I am a Chinese, in Shanghai. I think, that's a very big joke. Although that's amusing. M.. I think you have something wrong with your brains.

Well, well, this is the first time I saw so many follow-ups in Chinese so much so that I'm now worrying if this site will be river-crabbed (hexie, or harmonized) as well. Obviously, the proposition that people tend to self censor given the presence of censorship seems not working here. But it appears in another form, one with tongue in cheek. BTW, I'm Chinese as well.

oh my......the Song of Grass Mud Horse....

不管怎么说,我笑了。。。。。。。。。这篇文章里的幽默,老外估计比较难理解,体现了传统中国人在一些压抑下的呻吟,但表现方式很诙谐而不是痛苦

毕竟呻吟不总是痛苦

总之,的确很搞笑
--------------------
anyway i smile...........foreigner can hardly feel the humor in this article,but as a chinese ,i really find its so humrous and funny ,it express some of our chinese unsatisfaction in mainland,that is not very deplomacy envoriment,this is a kind of moan, it not contain bitter but sth else ,such as fun

anyway it really so fun

欢迎喜欢中国文化、中国文字的老外中国

中国欢迎您

Nosegay,请问:

外国人比较难理解,因为他们自己本国语言无双关语?
外国人比较难理解,因为楼主英文文章解释不够透彻, 翻译不够准确?
外国人比较难理解,因为老中思维实在太深奥,正如楼上常用表达方式如“哈哈哈”和“操你妈”加以 fuck you?

所以都很难理解吗?草泥马该休息。

dear nosegay: as a foreigner studying chinese, i am so happy to understand these jokes! 学习外语的时候如果理解谐戏,就可以更深刻地了解那语言的精神。其实我最喜欢的是“矛思想与盾思想”,真实您所谓的“搞笑呻吟”。

身为猫扑人民`真TMD自豪

Hello,guys.
These "creatrues" are "funny" , and a bit obsent; yet, I hope you guys,my fellow citizens,or my foreign friends, understand the true implication hidden under their obsent skin.
That is, a kind of pageant that fight against some department of the Gov which arbitrary eliminate things on the internet that they thought to be obsent, like some Japanese ACG. Those governers can't tolerate things that is "not elegant", for example, scenes of murdering, and they ruin those things in the name of harmony. According to the Story of CaoNiMa, the "river crab",which sounds like Harmony, are the enemies to the CNM. As our country is building up a harmonious society, I think the acts of those governer are humiliations to our country and CPC ,and also slow down the developing of our cultural civilization.
The phonomenon of CaoNiMa is a kind of pageant, I guess. It doesn't mean that all Chinese are obsent.

I'm sorry that my English is very limited.

p.s I don't want my words used by some disgusting "human right organization" The phenomenon is not of that.
p.s LX围观的你们烦不烦啊……

Wow!My country's "god animal" went abroad!

够无聊,罢休!

草泥马休息
达菲鸡累坏
菊花蟾冻死
雅蠛蝶飞走
尾申鲸捕光
吉跋猫罢休
潜烈蟹绝种
吟稻雁被抢
法克鱿喷气
鹑鸽成杂种

This is not the oldest nation

中国就是厉害.

The ten Baidu animals are now on Wikipedia! Baidu 10 Mythical Creatures


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看完回复,这没什么丢脸的,丢脸的是D和ZF,发达国家什么时候搞个整治互联网低俗之风?含有类似日、操、插等词组一样很多,电影上也有,现在中国大陆电影上也有,骂人无国界,要说下流,只要是人的国度都差彼此彼此,怎么就丢脸了?素质不是靠镇压舆论提高的,像朝鲜那样人人都是乖孩子模子倒出来的,那才是高素质?

哪个国家没有国骂?没有低俗?也不少嘛,我们的祖先还能发出“时日曷丧,予及汝偕亡”的牢骚,他们的当代子孙就不行吗?没什么丢脸的

yangyang..到此一游..


°_亼вμ能洅1棵樹上吊屍.°┆要洅坿近几棵樹上哆屍几次試試、

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