Fried Lies

A funny personal blog by an Irish guy living in Beijing: Fried Lies aka Paper Tiger.

The Irish guy appears to be a cross talk performer who may be about to join the Coalmine Arts Troupe (煤矿文工团). Here are two excerpts from his blog:

I have a son. What the fuck do I do now?

I now have a son, a beautiful boy, born on the 10th of this month at the Hai Dian Maternity Hospital here in Beijing at 8:56am.

It was a moving moment and one that I'm not likely to forget in a hurry.

The term, "whistling through one's sphincter" is a pretty apt description as to how I was feeling whilst waiting for news of my wife who granted me this bundle 'o joy via Cesarian Insection.

I was practically shitting my ring until my baby boy was delivered to me by a smiling nurse who also happened to be holding a plastic bag with the remainder of the contents of my wife's womb.

Thanks for the memories Sue Zhou

...The gig basically, was a watered down version of CCTV's annual, "Funny Foreigner in China Talent(less) Show, with "people from all walks of life drawn together under the banner of friendship, understanding and a deep love and respect for Chinese Culture!".

I shit you not, that was actually the blurb given on the glossy brochure at the show.

Some of the acts were fucking shite, some well, were just shite and others were bizarrely fascinating. A particular favourite of mine was this guy from India, claiming to be a "loyal and faithful member of the Indian Communist Party for more than 10 years(!)" giving a heartfelt reading of a Chairman 70% 30%" Mao poem. Moving stuff, except NOBODY COULD UNDERSTAND A FUCKING WORD, however all concerned got a good laugh out of it.

- If you don't know what cross talk is, have a look at this David Moser article on Danwei: The death of Chinese humor.

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