'Ello 'ello

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Completely unsolicited, or wanted, a copy of the newly revamped Shanghai Star Weekend English language newspaper arrives in our office. Now, for years the Shanghai Star was a strong contender for most boring newspaper on the planet, full of the usual ‘Sun to Shine All Day’ articles courtesy of Xinhua, but with the added annoyance of a bunch of ex-pats so hard up they were willing to write columns for the rag – columns that were never meant to be funny, but were indeed truly hilarious. The paper’s low point came when it finally awarded its “Letter Of The Week” award (a McDonald’s voucher, or something) to a letter by, eeerrr, one of the paper’s editors. Yes, he wrote a letter to his own paper and then selected himself as the “Letter Of The Week”, and got the voucher, without even blushing!! At that point, even China’s propaganda czars knew the paper was pointless.

But now it’s back – all tabloidy and having a go (well sort of) at finding a new target audience – how else to explain a quick flick through, revealing such stories as:

• TV’s Slender Search for Beauty – arguing against the cult of extreme skinniness, but with pictures of very thin girls in bikinis;

• Girls Just Want to be Thin – arguing extreme weight loss is dangerous, and featuring pictures of scantily clad skinny models;

• Is Pole Dancing Slip Sliding Away? – apparently not, and a chance for more pictures of skinny women wrapped around poles. Indeed, as an exercise form it is booming in popularity, the Star tells us, but in clubs less so. It takes a few paragraphs before the Star informs us that police have had a word with clubs offering pole dancing – so not exactly unpopular with the punters then, just the boys in blue!;

• Forbidden Fruit Hot DVD Item – about the perils of smutty movies, and then proceeding to provide a list of the best ones spotted on fake DVD stalls, including a sexy pic from a banned one;

• Girl Power Has Shanghai in a Spin – apparently there are at least 3 girls who can DJ in Shanghai – the pretty DJs photos are included;

• Ministry of Sound is Back – Sexier Than Ever – Of course, ‘sexier’ grabs the eye even though, to be fair, the only picture is of some expat soap-dodging ‘Nightlife Correspondent’ with a beard!

Then the inevitable double page spread of Nightlife Snapshots – featuring lots of too skinny, wanna-be models smiling gamely at the lens in various Shanghai nightclubs (and not a beard in sight, which makes you wonder whether the Nightlife Correspondent got past the velvet rope with his scruffy chin?).

You get the point.

And we won’t even mention that Carol Tan’s ‘Shhhhhh…..The Inside Scoop on Shanghai’s Oh-So-Exclusive Fashion Scene…’ column (we kid you not – that’s really what it’s called) included a picture of Giorgio Armani labelled as Karl Lagerfeld, and just happened to have 5 skinny models in the shot too! Respect Carol.

The Shanghai Star returns – The New York Times it ain’t.